Word

Props to Ned Hepburn.

Active Dreams

So I was seeing this dude for a minute. Our relations were physical, in the sense that they were spontaneous and wildly passionate and our chemistry was... well, sleep-depraving. But in other aspects, we clashed. I think our over-all mentality about things were completely off. And I mean opposites.

One night, I was laying in bed next to him, and we had a really heated argument before some really heated smooching. Eventually, we went to sleep. In my slumber, I dreamed that I was with my brother who is three years my junior. We were hanging out in our house and he did something to piss me off, so I started yelling at him. He ignored me, so to get his attention, I slapped him.

The dream stops there.

I wake up mid-smack. Except this time, it's in real life, and I smacked my man into consciousness. We both realize at the exact same moment what had just happened and I'm not sure if it was the shock of it all or the delusionment, but I started laughing! COULD YOU IMAGINE? Waking up to a smack and looking at the girl and she LAUGHS!! I of course started apologizing but I could NOT stop laughing.

The odd timing of this dream was impressive. I had been getting frustrated by said boy, and was starting to think it was a bad idea to keep things going. Ultimately, I think it was a message from the fates addressed to both of us,

That morning we got ready for our days and had a brief kiss good bye. I haven't seen him since.

Don't Call It a Come-Back

We broke up in January. And as one thing ends, this begins- again.

Things to Think About II

Sometimes I feel as if this critic was describing myself instead of Tom Waits' voice: "[It sounds] like it was soaked in a vat of bourbon, left hanging in the smokehouse for a few months and then taken outside and run over with a car."

Life is exhausting. Being single is no easier than being in a relationship, and that bit of misery certainly loves company. That is why I made this blog. It should be known that just as much as this is for you, it is for me. A non-objective, caring and confident voice that will say what you (I) need to hear, not what you (I) want.

1. You should never trust someone who wants to keep you a secret.

2. Don't forget to call your parents. They love you so much.

3. Happy endings are for stories that aren't finished yet

4. If you ever need a good laugh, take Incubus lyrics and say them out of context.

5. Sundays are the new Saturday nights. Brunch, wine, recovering. Do it with a group and it won't look like alcoholism.

6. Open your curtains and keep them open. The light is motivating.

7. People are shitty. People are stupid. Move on.

8. Please take more interest in NASA's discovery of water on the moon than in Nicholas Cage, as Google analytics have shown on CNN.

If and When

We lay next to this person by specific credentials. They have proven themselves worthy of the priveledge and we equally embrace this. But we follow some primative, or perhaps conservative, notion that inhibits the humanistic while regarded as animalistic "freedom" that we are so badly trying to regain, and we are inevitably left with an emptiness, both physically (in our beds) and emotionally. Here's where we tend to fumble and end up reading this.

You are not the only person who was hurt. If you really think you are a victim in any way, you need some perspective. Don't passively assess what is going on, take charge for the sake of your hapiness! Waiting for someone else to make you happy is pointless because you can't find true happiness unless you can find it within yourself.

The heart opens up when it breaks. Don't give up on the ones yet to come.

Think Big

Apparently, there is (what I can only call) an "idea" that if you think about something long enough, you will achieve/obtain it. This is an heavily enthused (and cult followed) theory called The Law of Attraction.

The Law of Attraction works both positively and negatively. So if you think about loosing your keys enough, you may loose your keys. If you see yourself living in a big house, you may live in a big house.

I kind of want to call Bullshit, but part of me wants to feed into this. If I just started thinking more positively, life could be better for me. And the fact that people could create a theory around the power of thought alone is intriguing. And anyways, what would we be without wishful thinking?

Things to Think About

1. Everyone looks better in leather. Get yourself a jacket.

2. Keep a clean room. No one else wants to see your underwear all over the floor. Dirty or clean.

3. Something I've been wondering- what is the proper etiquette when it comes to left over condoms? You know, the dude or chick you regularly start sleeping with brings some to leave at your house, but you don't want to tap it anymore. So now you have these condoms sitting in your nightstand, that you didn't get. Do you give them back? Do you use them with your next partner? Do you throw them away?

4. The better route is to pretend like you've never met them before. Because they were probably drunk and don't remember it.

5. Never order an entire pizza without this intentions of sharing it with everyone there. Not only is that selfish, but goddamn, HOW FUCKING FAT ARE YOU??

6. Discuss your problems with your close friends. And only discuss it when they are really bothering you. Don't bombard everyone at the bar with your personal mishaps. You don't want to be known as a poor sap, do you?

7. Please don't let the cold weather be an excuse for low-maintenance pubes.

8. Morning sex is great, but morning masturbation is awesome too. And at least you will give yourself the respect as to washing your hands before. In other words, sleeping alone isn't all that bad.

9. I don't know if it is just me, but there is something really sexy about a foul mouth.

10. Don't think that because you read "Look At This Fucking Hipster" that you're not a hipster.

11. You want them because they aren't available.